Et Tu Hagane?
by harvest cleric
Summary: [You Too Full Metal?] In attempt to ease the young alchemist’s anger, Roy gives Ed a day off from work. However, the Elric doesn’t work well with free time and wants something interesting to do. And Roy has that something in mind. RoyEd
1. Roy's Declaration

Rawr!

I am off to write :insert inspiration here: Woot!

Anyway I'll shall attempt to create a… decent RoyEd story. XD Based off an rp I did with a friend. Hopefully I won't kill the fandom o.o

Don't worry! I will update my other fics as soon as I can:3 Which will most likely be tomorrow.

Summary: You Too Full Metal? In attempt to ease the young alchemist's anger, Roy gives Ed a day off from work. However, the Elric doesn't work well with free time and wants _something _interesting to do. And Roy has that something in mind. RoyEd

Chapter 1: Roy's Declaration

Et tu Hagane?

"I'm here Taisa!"

No response.

"Taisa?"

Not a word.

"Taisa!"

The colonel lifted his head from the unsorted untouched papers. "Ah I'm sorry. I seem not to have heard you from the tiles of the floor, Hagane."

This caused anger to Ed. He shook it off and tossed a small black book on the desk. "I finished your mission" he said, narrowing his eyes at the colonel.

Roy smiled at this, taking a look inside and closing it proudly. He leaned back in his chair and tilted his head. "Yes, I can see that you did your job to your up most ability. Now tell me something… how did it go?"

Ed growled slightly and huffed. "She was very happy and wanted to thank you. Happy now?"

"Ha ha ha! I had a feeling. So I take it that Mission: Get Roy's Date was a complete success! I'm very pleased." Roy laughed happily.

The small one growled. This may have been pleasing to Roy, but not to Ed. He sat on the couch and crossed his arms, almost looking like he was going to throw a tantrum.

"Hn? Something wrong, Hagane?" The man tilted his head and looked at the small boy.

"Yeah… why don't you give me assignments that, oh I don't know… give me something to do? All I ever get are your damn errands! I'm fricken sick of it!" Ed stood, yelling.

This has been a problem with him since Roy hired him to be his assistant. Ever since that day, Ed has been doing Roy's chores from shopping to picking up dates. And it certainly had been bothering Ed, since he had a different image of the job.

Roy shrugged. "Well, Edward, the job of an _assistant_ is to do whatever I tell you to do without asking questions. If you have a problem with it, I won't hesitate to let you go."

That wasn't going to be a very pleasant thing for Ed. He and Al just bought a new house, a pretty expensive house at that, and they needed the money to pay for it. If he were to be fired, that would only create more problems for Al and himself since they have multiple jobs and were having difficulty with them.

Ed sighed. He had no choice but continue to tend to Roy's every whim. "No… I don't have a problem." he said quietly.

The colonel grinned. "Good. Now will you be a dear and get me some tea?" Roy practically sang.

A soft growl. But it had to be done or else Ed would lose his job. He went to the hallway and made tea.

Roy waited. But, he wasn't a very patient fellow at the moment, so he needed something to entertain himself. He already counted the dust on the wall and played with his handmade Riza paper dolls. So he was left with spinning in his chair.

Ed returned with the tea and set it at the table. "There." He said blankly.

"Thank you, little one." Roy smiled, sat down and poured a glass for him and Ed.

Ed held back his need to slash the soldier's throat and took a sip at the tea.

"So Hagane, found a girlfriend yet?" Roy asked out of the blue.

This caused Ed to spit out his tea. "W-what?"

"You know. A girlfriend. Those things that you play with on things called dates. Have you not have one?" Roy teased.

Ed shook his head and got pink. "W-what does that matter to you?" he asked nervously. Ed seriously hadn't thought about one.

"So you do?" Roy quirked a brow.

"N-no I don't!"

"That Winry girl is cute. How about tickling her?"

"WHAT! No! She's just my friend and mechanic!"

"Mmm… I think you could get it good with her…"

"S-SHUT UP!"

"Relax, Hagane. I'm kidding." He laughed and drank more of his tea. Ed was no fun to play with. He was always uptight and always took things seriously.

Which is why Ed never really liked carrying a good conversation with him. Roy never took anything seriously. It was always the 'No work and all play' thing.

A girlfriend… ha! Ed had no time for such a thing. He was too busy getting mortgage paid to go on dates.

"How about me?"

"Huh?" Ed's head shot up from his daze.

"How about going out with me?" Roy plainly said. His eyes looking directly into Ed's.

Ed thought about it. Was he kidding? Most likely. But he looked pretty serious there. What was Ed to think of this? Did Roy really want Ed to go out with him? That face said yes and Ed wasn't going to take any chances. He sat up. "Umm… I think I hear Alphonse calling me…"

Roy continued to look at him. "I believe that you are lying to me, Hagane." He got up and kneeled in front of Ed. His hand cupped his chin and lifted Ed's face to look directly at him. He wanted Ed to give him full eye contact. They're faces only inches away from each other.

Ed's face appeared red. He couldn't avoid whatever Roy was going to do to him, but he knew one thing he could do to prevent it from happening.

He opened his mouth and…

bit Roy's finger…

"OW! SHIT! I was kidding, Edward!" Roy took his glove off and blew on his finger. "Someone has some anger issues today, don't we?"

Ed turned his head away, his face still red. "Hmph!"

"You know, there are fabulous clinics in the area that can help you. You should really see to it that you visit one… really soon." His eyes developed tiny tears as he put his finger in his mouth. "I do believe that I'm bleeding."

Serves him right! Ed thought. Scaring him like that. Geez, that guy really had problems. Problems that needed to be attended to… fast.

"Hmmm…. You know what? I think you need a day off. You clearly are going through some stress. You need time to relax and think… because biting people isn't normal…" Roy said, going through his papers. He needed to get _some _work done before a certain lieutenant found out.

Ed slowly nodded before slowly opening his eyes widely, being totally shocked. "Day… off?"

Roy nodded. "Yes"

"B-but Taisa! I'm not one for… for breaks! I'm better off just continuing working" Ed wanted to make sure that Roy heard him out. Free time… wasn't Edward's thing. It would sent him to the crazy house. He'd drive himself nuts.

"Nope! I've made up my mind!" Roy declared.

It was clear. Ed was to have a day off and there was nothing he could do to change his mind.

Blah that was bad. The next chapter will be better. Because Roy will… oh! Don't want to spoil it for you! You'll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out what happens next!

The title of this story is a line from Shakespeare's Ceasar play thingy. It's original form is "Et tu Brute?" Which means "You too Brutus?" in Latin I believe. So now you know the title! Yaay!

Thank you for reading!

Ja Mata!

Keiko


	2. Going Shopping

Thank you for the reviews minna! I'm glad you like the story so far! I decided to do some review replies since I'm NOT that sort of person that's trying to divert you attention from the story!… look a butterfly!..

Review Replies

queenphoeinx: Thank you! Here's the update!

RainOwl: Mwahaha here you go!

koolmint26: It's right here:D

Genkai-chan: Roy will… be in this chapter :3!

Uchiha Kuraiko: Haha! That's why its soo much fun to torture little Edo :3

Golden Sylphide: I wish I knew French o.o Thanks! Here's the chapter

Firan: Gomen :3;; That's what my English teacher told me so that's what I went by. Thank you!

Moonglitter2: Thank you! Here's the chapter!

Alrighties o.o SO yeah that's it. Enough procrastinating, Keiko! Get to the chapter!

Chapter 2: Going Shopping

"Day off?"

A sigh. "Yes, for the millionth time. A day off." Roy started rubbing his temples. A headache was growing on him.

"I just want to make sure we're clear on this." Ed said nervously. He was deadly hoping that the colonel was kidding. Which he was indeed not.

And here comes the pain in the head. "Edward, I don't like repeating myself and I do not intend on playing this game of repeat until you win. You have a day off and that's final." Roy explained, a small aggravated vein started to show. He wanted some Advil. Fast. He took a look at his finger. It was still red. "While you're out, go see a dentist or something."

Ed held his head. The mere thought of being alone in a room with no assignments or anything to do gave him a mass ache in the head. The complexity of such a simple thing drove him nuts.

Roy however, wanted to relieve his painful head. Ed standing there and making a nuisance wasn't helping any. "Ed, why don't you leave now? I really need silence… and some aspirin…"

This was his last chance. If he were to have any of his sanity left, it was all in this last plead. "I'll do anything you ask me to do. ANYTHING."

"As tempting as that sounds, I'll have to decline your request. For you see, you have just killed my head and now I am in need of medical attention. So if you'll excuse me, I'll see the nurse, and you will leave. Understood, Hagane?" Roy rubbed his head once last time before he stood up, his voice hinting annoyance.

Ed sighed. He didn't want to give this battle up, however. "But…"

"What? You're scared that if you have the free time, you'll miss me?" The colonel arched a brow as he touched the door knob.

"W-What! That's completely absurd! Why would I **miss **you? Ha! I can go without being with you for a week!" The small alchemist crossed his arms in arrogance; only to rethink of what he said.

"A week huh? Well then a week it is!"

And with that, Mustang left. Leaving a mouth wide opened Edward. That gave the senior officer a bit of a victory, making him feel more confident as he walked down the hall in pain.

After a few moments of standing in complete shock, Ed came back to his senses. He had just convinced Mustang to give him a whole week off. A whole… week… off. Those four words rang in his ears. This was going to drive him insane. He was going to crackle down like a scared dog… like a-- no. No. That's just what he'd _want _Ed to do. To lay down scared. "Well well well… Edward Elric has never backed down on a challenge and he certainly isn't going to start now! I'll take your 'days off' Roy Mustang, but mark my words! I will not wimp out now and I will NOT admit defeat to YOU, SIR! HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Ed screamed, making sure the colonel would here no matter where he was.

"… is he still yelling?" the said soldier growled.

* * *

Day one.

The bell rang.

And rang.

And rang.

SMASH. The alarm clock was smashed to pieces by a certain fist crashing into it. Eyelids opened groggily, peering at the messy room. Books and papers scattered everywhere. A small yawn left Ed's mouth and he sat up. He slept late. Which is a first for him. Normally he'd be awake at the crack of dawn. But today he allowed himself to sleep in later.

3:45

Hmm… normally his metabolism wouldn't let him sleep **that** long. Weird.

"Alright! Let's see what I can do!" It was best to stay positive about this situation. Giving in too easily will please the higher ranking soldier. And that wasn't something he wanted. However, there was always something to _do_. Something that kept him busy. Whether it be stupid things, it was at least something. Now he had to come up with things himself. Hmph. Shouldn't be too hard. What did Al use when he wanted to get multiple things done? … a list! That's right. That thing you write for activities or things to get.

Okay… let's see. Was there anything he could do? "Hmmm…. Shopping? But Al does those sort of things." Now that he thought about it, Al did most of the housework. Which, now that he thought about it more, displeased Ed because that scratched off more opportunities. "No matter! I'm sure I'll think of something." Insert 10 more minutes and some yelling.

"AAAAURRGHH!" And we have an angry Edward. Patience is a virtue, Al says in times like these. "BUT HE HAS SOMETHING TO DO!" Deep breath, Ed. Deep… breath.

Okay… again. Right about now, Al would be working at the bakery. And while he does that, Ed had the right to do some things Al couldn't do while he was working. Was there anything they needed? A small growl from Ed's stomach echoed the bedroom. "Maybe I should eat something."

The kitchen was more tidy than that of Ed's room. Which didn't bother him that much. Right now, his goal was to fill his belly with something to eat. The fridge, of course was semi-empty. His mouth curled to a grin. Finally something he could do! He rushed to get his list and write his list of things to buy.

Let's see… there was bread, cheese, eggs, the normal things and what else…

…

Milk.

Oh the dreaded white liquid that his brother made him drink before bed. Oh the horrid substance that made him angry so. But that was the price he had to pay for shopping. Oh well.

The walk to the store wasn't bad. Not bad at all. In fact, it was quite pleasant. The weather was nice and there was a nice breeze. Ed never really had time to enjoy the weather when he was in the office. It was real nice.

When he stepped into the grocery store, he felt a sudden chill. The air conditioning was on. He pulled his list out and grabbed a basket.

Since he hadn't really been there that much, finding the food was a task in itself. The place was huge! Someone of his stature… or… lack of it, could easily get lost. But he had to move onward! It shouldn't be **that **hard to find them, right?

Not if you insert 30 minutes and aggravation. Ooh! Plus a full bladder! That'd make it even harder!

Well poor Edward had only half the things on his list. AND he had to pee. What could make this situation even more comical? The fact that he had no idea where the bathroom was.

"Okay, Ed… calm down… you can get these. If only I can the damn things." he looked at his watch. Al will be home in a half hour. If he were to be there before his brother, he was to act fast. And fast because he really had to go. The halls were paced vastly by the small alchemist. It seemed that he wasn't really searching for the food anymore. Just the nearest bathroom.

"Aha! There's one!"

A certain person came out of the bathroom, blocking his way. "Hm? Oh Hagane!"

….

Great. JUST GREAT. His thoughts had more inappropriate things, but the message can be made clear that he was mighty angry.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Roy crossed his arms and smiled, standing in front of the bathroom door. He knew Ed had to go by the way he stood. This pleased him very much.

Ed, on the other hand, was on his last nerve with Mustang. His bladder was going to explode and the sight would be unbearable. "Get… out of my way" he growled in a low angry tone. A tone which didn't seem to shake the man one bit. "Nah… I like this spot. Nice and cool.." he teased.

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Ed couldn't hold it in for much longer! He had to do something to get Roy out of the way so he can tinkle. Thinking fast, Ed shoved his basket into Roy's arms, and he quickly crawled under his legs; making it inside.

Roy laughed. "Ah! So your height is actually good for something, huh Hagane?" he took a look at Ed's list and arched a brow. He was so desperate to do something that he went shopping? A maniacal smile made its way on Roy's mouth and he quickly went off.

"I feel so much better now-- HEY!" His basket was no where to be seen. Along with Roy. "DAMN IT!" Where could have that bastard gone? And why the hell did he take his basket with him? It was quite obvious that Roy did this to tick him off. Which he was doing a good as hell job doing it.

As if he wasn't lost enough in the giant market, looking for Roy was like looking for Al in a pile of kitties. It was impossible to find him. "Maybe this is one of Taisa's stupid tricks." he pondered. "No matter! I'll find him and get my basket back. AND I'll hurt him in the process!"

He made a sharp turn and crashed right into Roy. "Whoa.. You okay, Hagane?" He blinked; Ed's faced was buried in his chest. That must have hurt, since even Roy felt a little pain. "You shouldn't be so reckless. You can hurt yourself, you know." Ed pulled himself away, holding his red nose. "I don't need YOU lecturing me! Now give me my basket!"

A chuckle from Roy. "There wasn't a manly word in that sentence, Hagane." Ed really didn't care. He just wanted to get the hell out with his food in peace.

The ebony haired man shook his head. "My my, Hagane, not even a thank you?" The blonde blinked. "Thank you? For what? Almost breaking my nose!" Well… it _was _Roy's fault after all.

"No, for doing the rest of your shopping." And there was the basket, filled with the items on the list.

Ed blinked and stared at the full basket. He had to contemplate on it for a while. Why would Roy go out of his way to do this for him? Hmmm… he was probably scheming something no doubt. "What are you planning?" he asked.

"Moi? Planning something? Oh I'm hurt, Hagane!"

Yeah right. But the things were in the basket. So no use complaining. Ed did a little check to make sure everything was on the list.

"…"

Roy smirked. "What? Did I miss something?"

"You bastard.." he missed the milk on PURPOSE. How dare he! Roy smiled and nudged Ed to the dairy isle. "Come on. It's not like you have to drink it or anything.." Ed hesitated. That was true, but Al usually bought the milk. "Come on Edward… everyone is doing it!"

Ed stared at it. The… evil liquid that mocked him. Making everyone believe that if they drink it, they'll grow. Hmmph. What a bunch of crap! No liquid can make you grow.

About 10 minutes later.

"Alright, come on. This is getting stupid. Just get it and go!" Roy sighed in annoyance. Ed was being a baby.

"I'm going…" Slowly.. Oh so slowly he reached for it. Alas, but Roy was too aggravated and got the carton and pushed Ed to the line. "FINALLY!"

Ed sighed, looking at Roy. "This was your fault in the first place. You should have just gotten the milk and we could have avoided this."

"Ah…" Roy knew Ed was right. The cashier rang up the items and put them in bags. Roy paid for the food and grabbed the bags. "Hey! I have money!" Ed followed him as he left the store. Roy didn't look behind him. "Shush" The smaller one sighed and continued to walk.

They reached Ed's house a bit later. Ed walked up the steps and unlocked the door. The lights were on, meaning that Al was home. Roy walked in and dropped the bags in the hall and turned to leave. "Well good night, Hagane" The older man walked out the door.

"W-Wait!" Ed called out, followed Roy. Which was weird. Because it was like his body did that by itself.

"Hmm?" The other turned his head.

He didn't know why he followed him. He didn't know what to say, but managed to say one word. "Thanks"

A soft chuckle and a hand messing Ed's hair. "Good night, Edward" Roy smiled and walked off.

"Night, Taisa" And with that, Ed went inside and closed the door.

Was that too long? I hope not :3 The plot will be coming real soon! I am now off to draw now XD;

Thank you for reading!

Ja Mata!

Keiko


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